Settling Down

2015 Undergraduate Blogger
2015 Undergraduate Blogger

“I’ve driven across deserts driven by the irony,
That only being shackled to the road could ever I be free.”
– Frank Turner

The world to me is a playground I have to explore. I’ve always enjoyed traveling and getting know other places and their cultures. My only problem is that I am not a very social person and it is hard for me to start conversation with random strangers. This might be the reason why I fell in love with the written word. By reading and writing most barriers of social awkwardness are lifted and I feel that I can communicate with others at a more personal level.

You can probably say that games are a very large part of my life. I play games for as long as I can remember and I play them for various reasons. They work as a mental challenge to me; puzzles that I have to solve. They help me simulate things and be in other places without having to travel. They give me more places to explore.

Up until yesterday, I would have sworn that what I wanted in life was to become a game designer but, now, I am not so sure. I wanted to create worlds and mechanics that would create wonder and pleasure in people. I wanted to have part of me stay inside a game forever, like an author is remembered for his words. But right now… I don’t think I will be remembered by either.

What attracted me the most to playing tennis while in high school was being able to travel every weekend and do what I love. To be a professional tennis player I had to be good at tennis, which, unfortunately I was not. Being bad at sports was something very normal to me, but this time I really put my heart and effort to be the best I could be.  This was not enough and I was left wondering what I would do with my life from now on.

Eventually I began playing “Magic: The Gathering.” Magic is the oldest trading card game and has a very robust competitive scene. I used to play the game before with friends but, now that I had time and wasn’t doing tennis anymore, I decided this would become my new obsession.

When I was not playing the game I was thinking about it; I even dreamed with Magic. I pushed as hard as I could and I even qualified for a world championship! In the end, I could not get past the level where I could make this game my life, and I burnt out pretty hard from playing it so much. Now, I was not able to play the game. I was not able to see the world.

I am a couple of months away from completing my college degree and I am as lost as I was when I started. I’ve been through a very long journey so far and I seem to have grown fond of the road. At some point I have to settle down and decide what I am doing with my life. I wish I was good enough at writing, playing games or making games, to turn them into a career.

So far, the only consistent thing I’ve met is being told to ‘settle down and make a choice’.

Julio Gavilano is a graduating senior from La Paz, Bolivia by way of Miami, Florida. He also writes for the gaming fan site BlizzPro … Read full bio Leave a comment below.